Moving in with Bae? Yay or Nay?

Its inevitable. Having a discussion with a partner about moving in together. But, is it the right decision? Is it the right time? What are his expectations and more importantly what are mine? These questions and many more are what plagues the mind when taking a relationship to the next step. Like all decisions, the first step assessing your own needs. Can moving in with your lover be a stressful or enjoyable experience? To be honest, it can be both, but with proper planning, open communications, a bible and cocktails it is possible to keep the stress down to a minimum.  Here are a few things to help your organize your thoughts before making the big decision.

Create A Pro’s and Con’s Lists
Yep! Another list. Before you say…”Here we go again!”, just bare with me for a second. The creation of a pros and cons list is very important. It doesn’t have to be shared with your partner unless you want to. This list is for you. It is going to help you organize your thoughts. List all the pros and the cons of sharing a household. Make sure to list your fears, concerns and expectations.

Do I want to share a home with this person?Lets think for a minute. Look at your relationship as a whole. How do you feel about your relationship? Do you feel secure? Do you feel loved? Do you feel appreciated? Having a good foundation is vital to moving onto the next step. If your needs are not being met while your living in separate homes, chances are they will not improve after the move-in. Make sure you add your assessment to your list.

And the Big Question: WHY?
Soooo….? Why do you want to move in together? Is it because your relationship is progressing and this is the next step? Is it to save money? Asking yourself and your partner this question is an absolute must. Oh yeah, add this to your list too.  When you finally have a conversation with your mate see if your answers are identical.  If they are…(thumbs up.)

Give Yourself Time
GIVE. YOURSELF. TIME! I can not stress this enough. This is a major decision to share a home with another person. I am talking about physically, emotionally, monetarily and spiritually. There will be times, when you will need to consult the MOST HIGH for strength. Its going to happen. Accept it.

Yes, No, Maybe Or Not Now!
After reviewing your list and taking a long look in the mirror, you might come to conclusion that your answer might not be the one that your partner wants to hear.  Its OK!  This process is eye opening and shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Yes and No are not the only answers in the world.  Perhaps you need more time to achieve your own goals first.  Perhaps you want to manage your debt more efficiently.  Whatever the answer might be…be honest with your partner and more importantly yourself.

Seek Advice…. (Optional)
This step is optional and be cautious about to whom you let into your personal business.  It helps to get the insight of others whom have gone through this journey before.  Personally I would choose an impartial member such as a priest or therapist. However sometimes impartial members are not always available, consider having a chat with your best friend, sibling or parent.  Make a note of their views, suggestions, etc on your list.

Look at your list, pretty extensive huh?  Mine was three pages long.  I had so many fears, concerns, questions, notes, etc.  This is a major decision and you are entitled to take as much time as you need in making the right choice.  Good Luck!